Before I get into my COVID-19 Wedding Update I want to give a little background. Recently I’ve learned that I suffer from anxiety when under a significant amount of stress. This is self-diagnosed, as I’ve always been able to deal with my stress in the past. However, within the past 6 months I’ve found myself too often feeling like my stomach is going to explode because it’s in knots. Or feeling like I’m going to cry, or becoming frantic because I don’t cope well with the unknown. I am a planner, and when all my plans start to unravel, or uncontrollable events happen I fall apart. And I do a terrible job at hiding my frustration with it, just ask James.
Last year I started a daily self-reflection journal on my phone. In moments of high stress I’ve found writing out my feelings have helped. Unsurprisingly, COVID-19 and everything Coronavirus related has added a whopping amount of stress to my life. Therefore I decided to take my own advice, and pen my woes. Hence my COVID-19 Wedding Update.
I have been planning our (my) dream wedding for the past year and a half. Every decision made had hours upon hours of research and meticulous planning. From deciding a Destination Wedding, to vendors and theme, everything was researched. James and I are funding our wedding by ourselves, so every decision was strongly analyzed. I decided very early on that I wanted to get as much as possible done as early as possible. I wanted to secure all my vendors and make all major decisions. With my job, my hours can be unpredictable. I didn’t want to be swamped with long work hours and wedding planning.
Within the first year we had finalized our major vendors, our venues, theme, music, bridal party, attire, and travel plans. All that was left to be done was intermediary events such as Engagement Party, Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties and the Bridal Shower. I also had minor vendors and details such as transportation and timeline of events to finalize.
Wedding planning is STRESSFUL Y’ALL. I have to say, settling on a budget, theme and vendors were the least stressful things. It was all the things in between that wreaked havoc on my zen.
First it was family not being able to attend. While we were fully aware, accepting/understanding this was going to happen, since we chose to do a destination wedding, it didn’t necessarily lessen the disappointment of it. Especially when it was family members you’ve always envisioned having by your side at your wedding day. Who wouldn’t want a strong familial support on their big day? We totally get that time off, expenses and travel are just too much for some our family, but they will just be greatly missed!!
Second it was Bridal Party drama. Listen, I LOVE all my bridesmaids, but as James says, bitches be bitches. They’re my bitches, but they’re bitches. Trying to coordinate anything with a group of girls who lead different lives, across the country is just HARD man. Doing this all from your phone, with limited face-to-face interaction only adds to the miscommunications. Now I totally understand why so many Brides have said they’ve lost friends due to Bridal Parties. Or that it has added strains on their friendships.
Personally, I think losing a friend over a wedding is stupid. I’m so happy that’s not the case for me. Fortunately, we managed to get ourselves together and sort everything out so that we are catering to the needs and concerns of all the girls in the group. At the end of the day, I asked all these girls because they’re important to me. They know I’ll do whatever whenever to help celebrate them, and I know they’ll do the same.
The biggest stress factor in Wedding Planning though, has without a doubt been doing it all sight unseen. Trying to figure out how to get married legally in Italy while based in the US is insane. I’m sure I’ll be writing a blog post about this entire process one day. But it essentially requires a ton of forms, and various appointments, from NY to Miami, to Florence and then Siena. At first it appeared that we weren’t going to be able to make these appointments work, and wouldn’t be able to get legally married in Italy. Not a MASSIVE issue, but our venue would only accept legal weddings. So we had to decide, move flights and our lives around to keep the legal wedding, or find a new venue and lose money. Ultimately we decided to move our flights around.
COVID-19 Wedding Update
Suffice to say, I was already stressed from wedding planning. When I found out that Coronavirus might upend all the planning I’ve been doing for the past two years I hit my breaking point. At first I tried to ‘wait and see’ how everything developed because ‘it was just a flu’. But then as January turned to February and to March, this stopped looking less like a flu and more like a pandemic. Especially when James and I almost got stuck in Finland during the Europe Travel Ban!! With that said, we reached out to our vendors to find out all of our options available to us, and inform everyone as part of our COVID-19 Wedding Update.
Cancelling the Wedding
It would truly break my heart to cancel our wedding. Not only because I had spent over a year and a half planning it, but because at the end of the day, it was meant to be Our Wedding. One day, where (selfish or not) we are the center of attention, celebrating this new path of life with our friends and family.
However, at the end of the day, health and safety come first. We essentially found out if were to cancel now we would lose all of our money already paid. That was definitely a hard pill to swallow. Like I said, we’re funding this wedding ourselves, and if we were to cancel and lose our money, we definitely would not be having any sort of celebration after the fact when things clear up.
However, our vendors did make it clear that if near October, the state of the world remains the same then postponement would be available to us. To do this we would need to wait until the middle of summer to see what travel restrictions exist, and what the status of COVID-19. Selfishly, I hope we also don’t have to postpone because trying to determine a new date that would work for all my already booked vendors is going to be a nightmare. One I really don’t want to deal with. With tons of 2020 Brides already re-booking to 2021, along with 2021 Brides, dates are definitely looking slim. Stressed is an understatement. Plus, that would mean all of our guests who already booked flights would need to re-schedule their flights, which is a headache I’m trying to avoid.
Continue as planned
Keeping my fingers crossed that we ultimately will continue as planned. I’m putting all the Good Karma out there that the world will have recovered by October and that all our hard work and waiting will come to fruition.
Stay Tuned for more COVID-19 Wedding Updates.
With that said, the world is changing every single day. Information and actions taken are constantly changing. As it stands, James and I can only make decisions based on the information available to us. As such, we’ve decided to wait, and see what information develops and to make a rational and sound decision only then. Until then, DON’T ask me if I’m cancelling my wedding (just kidding)! Okay maybe not – but seriously, we’ll keep everyone updated as we all learn more and as soon as James and I decide on our future plans.
If you too are a COVID-19 Bride/Graduate/New Hire/WHATEVER and need a pep-talk, read this. I hope it helps.
Until the next update, expect fun and planning-specific Wedding related posts!